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Author: Editorial Staff

Posted onJuly 13, 2021Uncategorized

Advisor Uses Summer to Clean Up Computer Desktop

by Editorial Staff

Shortly after canceling all summer appointments, one first-year advisor and self-proclaimed “Advisor of the Year” embarked on the long process of cleaning up his computer…

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Posted onJune 14, 2021June 15, 2021Uncategorized

Campus Prepares to Lift Mask Mandate, Realizes CU Lacks Shirt Mandate

by Editorial Staff

As the campus prepares to lift the mask mandate at the end of June, anxiety is growing among senior leadership about the lack of a…

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Posted onJune 14, 2021Uncategorized

Inspired by Webinar, AAC Places Lynn on Academic Advisor Suspension

by Editorial Staff

The AAC announced today that they are placing Michael Lynn, Academic Advisor for Sociology and Jewish Studies, on Academic Advisor Suspension.  A source close to…

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Posted onMay 3, 2021May 10, 2021Uncategorized

Ex-AAC Head Guertin Receives NACADA’s Virginia Gordon Award

by Editorial Staff

Elizabeth Guertin, one-time Director of Advising and Assistant Dean in the College of Arts & Sciences, received the 2020 Virginia Gordon Award of the National…

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Posted onApril 30, 2021May 3, 2021Uncategorized

Mass Exodus from Registrar’s Office after Decades in Cave

by Editorial Staff

In recent weeks, the University of Colorado Boulder community has seen an onslaught of emails from the Registrar’s Office and other Enrollment Management Offices announcing…

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Posted onApril 30, 2021Uncategorized

BFA Votes to Censure; Unaware of Podcast

by Editorial Staff

In a 35-to-20 vote, the Boulder Faculty Assembly approved a motion to censure President Mark Kennedy for “a failure of leadership with respect to diversity,…

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Posted onApril 30, 2021Uncategorized

Bonetti Announces Retirement: Rogalski Grows Ponytail in Anticipation; ECON Looks to Vahratian for Mustache

by Editorial Staff

Ken Bonetti, longtime Economics Advisor and rabble-rouser, announced recently that his effective last day at the University of Colorado Boulder will be May 14th. “I’ve…

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Posted onApril 30, 2021April 30, 2021Uncategorized

University Leaders Announce Return to “Normal”

by Editorial Staff

University leaders recently announced that everything is going to be “just fine and dandy” this fall. “This is definitely based on science. Financial motivation has…

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Posted onMarch 26, 2021April 30, 2021Uncategorized

Coming Together as a Community

by Editorial Staff

We would like to pause from satire and take time instead to recognize those who lost their lives at the King Soopers in Boulder on…

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