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Posted onJuly 14, 2022Uncategorized

Genius Advisor Reduces Repetitive FY Appointments Thanks to Advising Hotline

by Editorial Staff

Mid-July is here, which can only mean one thing: Advisors are slogging their way through repetitive first-year appointments in a zombie-like state, answering the same…

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Posted onJuly 14, 2022July 14, 2022Uncategorized

Advising to Join the Gig Economy

by Editorial Staff

The Campus Advising Executive Council (CAEC) announced amid self-congratulatory high-fives and chest-bumps today that they have found the solution to advisor turn-over. “Advising is going…

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Posted onJune 14, 2022Uncategorized

As IUT Requirements Grow Increasingly Unclear, Advisors Take Solace in Ease of IUT Intent Tagging

by Editorial Staff

The IUT Intent Tag Form just decreased by approximately 20 steps, which could not have come sooner for one UEAC advisor. “I mean, ideally, all…

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Posted onJune 14, 2022Uncategorized

Conduct Cases Up 90% Thanks to NSFP’s Forensic Student Profiles Pilot

by Editorial Staff

In an effort to better understand CU Boulder’s incoming first-year and transfer students, New Student & Family Programs added a questionnaire to this year’s Online…

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Posted onJune 14, 2022Uncategorized

A&S AAC To Offer Second- and Third-Shift Advising

by Editorial Staff

Lily Board, Assistant Dean for Academic Advising & Student Success, announced today that Arts & Sciences will offer academic advising appointments 24/7. “We’ve historically expected…

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Posted onMay 14, 2022Uncategorized

Eagan Hospitalized With Severe Case of Jimmy John’s-Induced Itis

by Editorial Staff

Staff from across campus are lauding the inaugural Partners of Advising and Coaching Expo as a spectacular success. “We had sun, sandwiches, games, laughter,” said…

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Posted onMay 14, 2022Uncategorized

Pontón de Dutton Disputes Golf Cart DUI: “It Was Granny’s Fault!!!”

by Editorial Staff

After successfully completing CU’s Golf Cart Safety training, an excited Scarlett Pontón de Dutton set out to haul families across campus in her official capacity…

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Posted onMay 14, 2022Uncategorized

Coach’s Laryngitis Confused with Spotty Wi-Fi

by Editorial Staff

An academic coach’s laryngitis was the source of much confusion in a recent team meeting. It seems the coach attempted many times to explain that…

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Posted onMay 14, 2022Uncategorized

Longtime CU Boulder Staff Member Makes Terrible Life Choices and Everyone Congratulates Her

by Editorial Staff

Longtime CU Boulder staff member, Denée Janda, of Janda Mountain String Band fame, has announced that she is leaving her position as Assistant Director of Campus…

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