Office of Pre-Health Advising to Host Bidet Awareness Series

After careful consideration, the Office of Pre-Health Advising (OPHA) scrapped its plans for its inaugural MCAT prep workshop series in favor of what the OPHA team described as a more “urgent need.” 

OPHA believes its new Bidet Awareness Series will set CU Boulder’s pre-health programming apart. “It’s a commonsense message that polls well with prospective students and families,” explained Jason Shelton, Director of Recruitment for the College of Arts & Sciences. “How can we, in good conscience, recommend a student to professional school if we can’t even trust their basic hygiene habits? Some of these people will be surgeons!” CU Boulder senior leadership applauded OPHA’s decision, saying it “demonstrates both moral integrity and innovation.”

Critics, however, contend that the bidet has its limitations and so should not take the place of MCAT prep – a claim OPHA roundly dismissed. “Of course it won’t stop you from crapping yourself, but it does make you cleaner,” said Dana Parcher, Director of Pre-Health Advising. “I don’t know how anyone can claim that they’re clean without it!”