Now that the only deadlines that anyone seems to care about have passed, the last of the CU Boulder advisors are queuing up their K-dramas and tucking themselves into their desk hammocks to hibernate until the start of spring enrollment.
“Oh, yeah. Fall hibernation’s a long-held tradition on this campus,” said Dr. Patrick Tally, Assistant Dean of Academic and Curricular Affairs in the College of Arts & Sciences, while stuffing a blanket and some nonperishables into his satchel. “There’s a common misconception that advisors are just human degree audits whose only function is to help students pick out classes. I remember back in the days of in-person orientation when we used to give presentations to students and families about the role of academic advisors. We’d say, ‘Advisors aren’t just here to help you pick out your schedule. They’re here all year long! What do you think they’re doing the rest of the year?!’ Of course, it was a rhetorical question and nobody wanted to look like a dummy and ask what the answer to that question was. We didn’t exactly volunteer any answers either. As a result, we’ve been able to maintain this hibernation season that lasts from the fall drop deadline to spring enrollment,” explained Tally while sticking an additional bag of Flamin’ Hot Cheetos under his arm.
When asked why Tally, an assistant dean and not at all an academic advisor, was also preparing for fall hibernation, he responded simply, “I used to be an advisor. We have an old saying in my family: You can take the Tally out of advising, but you can’t take advising out of the Tally.”